Wednesday, July 22, 2020

A Child in the "System"

            We have a child in our school that is currently in the foster care system. (We will call him "N.") His foster mom is the sweetest lady and she has had him in her care for almost three years. We do not know a lot of details about his past, but we do know that N still does see his birth mother and siblings, but when he spends time with them, he does not eat well and does not get much sleep and it basically disrupts his daily routine for the week between visits. His foster mom has worked very hard to restore his nutrition and limit the amount of sugar he intakes. She is very open with us about how he is working with a counselor to move on from the neglect and abuse that he experienced as a young toddler. (He is 4 years old now.) If N spends a day with his mother and siblings, Foster Mommy will give us a call and let us know that his behavior may be off for the day and explain why. N has come leaps and bounds since entering our school a year ago. It is amazing to see the love and encouragement that our teachers give him, despite the tumultuous life he has already endured.

I chose to continue learning about Italian culture since I have previously written about this country in my blogs.

A lot of what I found in my research shows that children in Italy currently are experiencing anxiety from being on lockdown because of the Coronavirus. The Italian doctors were forced to make many virtual visits to parents and children to assure them of ways to cope with the anxiety of being isolated from their whole world. (Klass, 2020). I feel as though this concept is something that children in all regions of the world are coping with. For my own children, I had to stop watching the news because my daughter could not handle the media's interpretation of COVID-19. And personally, even for myself, I had to stop watching.

I think the hardest thing for everyone, in Italy and in other parts of the world, is that the way we are living currently is part of what "normal" now looks like.



References

Klass, P. (2020, April 2). What Italian Pediatricians Can Tell Us. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/02/well/family/coronavirus-pediatricians-Italy-children-families.html.

Thursday, July 9, 2020

Breastfeeding in the USA and in Italy


I breastfed each of my children for one year. I always knew it was something I wanted to do, but when it came time, I didn't even give it a second thought. And I'll admit, it was hard at first. My daughter wouldn't latch, even in the hospital, so I was "stuck" exclusively pumping. After about a month of over producing (this a real thing and a conversation for another time), and a freezer full of only milk and no food, she finally was able to figure it out and it helped me regulate my supply.

When we were out in public, I was absolutely not comfortable breastfeeding without a cover, or honestly, at all. I know it is a natural thing, but I just couldn't get into it as a new mom. I was even uncomfortable feeding her around my extended family and my closest friends. I felt it was something that I should do privately and only with my husband present.

With Deklan, I was a seasoned professional with breastfeeding. I still did not feel comfortable pumping or breastfeeding around anyone. When D was one month old, we had two weddings to go to. I had to run to the car, almost completely undress and pump in the car. Because who takes a one month old baby to a wedding?! Well, I won't lie, I wanted to. But we felt it was better to leave him with family members instead.

I was more comfortable to feed D around other people but still not enough to not use a cover or to advertise that I was breastfeeding. It was just more comfortable for me to be hidden and feed him quietly than to be around other people. Also, Deklan was a nosey baby. He wanted to see the entire world around him. So a quieter environment was best for him.

I was a member of several Facebook groups about breastfeeding and I would read everything these women wrote about how it wasn't right that we had to cover up just to feed our child and that they didn't care what anyone else thought. It does baffle me that people view breastfeeding as a sexual act. And I guess that with my uncomfortableness, I kind of fed into it, but it is a personal preference and I just didn't like being exposed for the world while feeding my baby.

I read about several different countries' views on breastfeeding and I chose to continue my study on Italy. My grandparents are first generation here and I do still have some relatives living in Italy, so it interests me.

I read an article written by the Italian Enthusiast, Anthony Barbuto. It was interesting to read a man's view on breastfeeding. In Italy, he states that most women feed their baby on command when they are hungry. "Italy is not burdened with a societal stigma that disapproves of public breastfeeding." (Barbuto, 2017).How lucky are they?! It is amazing to read that in Italy woman find breastfeeding to be a natural thing and embrace it as beautiful.

I found another article written by Barbara Silliquini, where she discusses that breasts in Italy are on television, in commercials, out there for everyone to see. And that breastfeeding is common. She did mention one time where a bar owner (cappuccino bar) asked a woman to nurse her child outside and he was basically condemned by the public. (Silliquini, n.d.)

It is good to know that IF I have another baby someday, (that's a big IF there, haha) and I happen to visiting my extended family in Italy, I will be okay to feed said baby in public and won't have to worry about anyone yelling at me.



References


Barbuto, A. (2017, August 20). Breastfeeding in Italy. The Italian Enthusiast. https://italianenthusiast.com/breastfeeding-in-italy/.

Siliquini, B. (2013, March 27). Breasts are for Babies? Perceptions of Breastfeeding in Italy. InCultureParent. https://www.incultureparent.com/breasts-are-for-babies-perceptions-of-breastfeeding-in-italy/.

Friday, July 3, 2020

Giving Birth in Italy Compared to the USA

I have not given birth anywhere else besides Abington Hospital, in Abington, Pennsylvania, but I wanted to look into what it was like to give birth in Italy, because I am half Italian and I do still have some relatives that live there. I researched a firsthand account about one woman's birth story, and what was interesting was that she was an American giving birth in Italy. And that was the only birth that she had, so she really has nothing to compare it to. 

The first thing difference that stood out to me is that in Italy, you must make an appointment to get an epidural. The appointment should be about one month before your due date and you need to have an electrocardiogram before you are okayed to have the epidural.  (Natalie, 2018) Thankfully, in America, I told my doctor that I wanted an epidural, I signed a waiver, and then I got my epidural. Bam! Easy peasy!

Another difference I noticed was that only when you are in active labor are you asked to come into the hospital and then directed immediately to your delivery room. No triage, no in between, right to delivery. Wow!  That would have been nice!

In Italy, this woman shared a room with another new mother while in the hospital. Which means no privacy. I can't imagine. When I had my daughter, I was a brand new mom, learning to breastfeed, learning how to take care of this new person, trying to recover. I would have hated to share a room with someone else. Plus, babies cry. A lot! Having someone else's baby in the room would make it difficult to sleep for those first couple hours. What if the two babies were on opposite schedules?  No one would ever sleep. Also, I needed my husband with me. He couldn't have stayed in a double room with me. How awful for a new dad to be left out.

It seems like most everything else was the same there as it is here. Nurses checking on you and the baby every couple hours, recording the baby's first diapers and feedings, for a boy, scheduling his circumcision. The author stayed in the hospital for 48 hours, which is what is required here as well. She also noted the hospital food was not good. Thankfully, the food at my hospital was good. And I was given a choice to what my first meal was after delivery. (I wanted a turkey sandwich on white bread with mayo. ha) 

Another noticeable difference is that no hospital gown was provided. Also, no after care for the mother- meaning no mesh underwear, no pads, no ice packs. The mother must bring it all herself.  
BUT- giving birth in Italy costs NOTHING! So, I guess that is the toss up. Giving birth in the United States is expensive, even with good health insurance. I guess I appreciated the luxuries of having all of those necessities provided for me, but the cost was really outrageous. 

I have to say that I am glad we are in America and thankful that I had such good birthing experiences. I guess at the end of the day if the baby is healthy and you are healthy, that is all you can ask for. 




Resources

Natalie. (2018, June 20). Giving Birth in Italy. An American in Rome. https://anamericaninrome.com/wp/2018/06/giving-birth-in-italy/.