My nephew had an incident with the police and his two friends. They were caught smoking pot in a park. The two boys were Mexican and black and my nephew is white. The two boys were fined for the marijuana offense and my nephew was not. He was given a warning and told to make better choices. Obviously, I am glad that B didn’t have any charges pressed against him, but it does make me wonder what the police officers thought when writing those tickets for the boys. What did their parents say when they heard that this had happened and B did not get a fine? I was ultimately upset with my nephew and made it known how disappointed I was with him, but we had a long discussion about what had happened and why. He is 16 and is old enough to understand what had happened with his friends and why they were fined and he wasn’t.
This incident diminished equity because it wasn’t not fair that everyone did not receive the same punishment. They all deserved to be fined and take the punishment.
I felt, and still feel bad for those boys and their parents. What an awful feeling for everyone, including my nephew.
For me, I would say that my sister and my nephew need to
have a serious conversation about the choices he makes and puts himself in with
his friends so this doesn’t happen again in the future. As a white “man,” he
does have privilege and needs to remember that in order to keep his friends
safe.
Hello Leanne,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. It is often difficult to negotiate equity when we become beneficiaries of privilege afforded from race. There is also, as you mentioned, the internalized oppression that the other families may have felt in being singled out. These conditions have been learned and passed down through the culture, attitudes and beliefs within groups.
Hi Leanne,
ReplyDeleteGreat example of unfair treatment and what happens on a daily basis. Thank you for sharing.
I know a black teacher that got a write for encouraging parents to plan a Head Start graduation program. The agency decided that graduation programs were not appropriate yet some White teachers had planned to have program and were not written up. When the black teacher mentioned other teachers were having program she told we are talking about you and not to be concerned about what others were doing. This was not an equal and fair judgment. So inequality happens all the time everywhere.
Cynthia
I meant to say write up
ReplyDeleteHello Leanne,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing the experience your nephew had with his friends. It really is eye opening when someone you know personally feels the inequity of the stereotypes and prejudices in our communities. Parents always want to protect their children, and it is critical for parents to teach children to make good choices and learn that 1 bad decision can change their life forever. All children need friendships, however, they should be made aware that all children are not treated fairly. It is more important to be a good friend and speak up for what is right than to be liked by peers and follow others that are not making good choices. As a parent and educator, I understand how challenging it is for children to feel connected to their friends and be loyal, even if the friend makes costly mistakes. If children of diverse cultures are friends, then they need to learn to talk of their differences as a way of being more understanding of each other and the impact their actions can have when dealing with difficult situations or with law enforcement.
- Juanita
Hi Leanne, thank you so much for sharing this difficult story. I am very sorry to hear about what happened to your nephew and his friends. It is so sad how these tpes of situations are seen over and over again in society. My partner who is a White polish man tells me all the times what him and his brother have gotten away with simply because of their skin color and I know if it was me in those various situations I would have recieved much worst consequences. I'm very proud and glad that you had a conversation with him about racial injustice involving the law and what kind of people gets the consequences versus those who get off with a warning or turn of a blind eye.
ReplyDelete